My baby is 1. ONE year old! How did this happen so fast?
At 8 weeks pregnant we got the results from a blood test to answer the big question… boy or girl??? I remember exactly where I was when we read the result. And it floored me. I remember being completely overwhelmed with the thought of having a girl… it took me a full half hour to be able to form a complete sentence.
All the questions that flooded my mind are for later in her life, and they are all still here…. but now I’ve been her mommy for a year.
Her first year was a whirlwind… from preparing to move to Canada, to actually moving and settling in… in more ways than one I feel like I didn’t see her grow. I blinked and there she was. One year old.
I can’t even fathom life without her. Her smile, her hugs, her arms reaching for me. How she lays on my shoulder and talks and talks and talks… and I answer even though I can’t understand a word, my heard knows.
Her laugh, her side glance, the way she gets mad when she can’t accomplish what she wanted (putting a straw through the lid, putting a lego in place, or putting a lid on the bottle).
Her curiosity, her tenacity, her fierceness. She knows what she likes and enjoys every minute of it.
The way she talks herself to sleep.
The way she adores her big brother and hangs on every move he makes.
The way she concentrates on her meal and will let nothing interrupt her.
The way she runs (crawling) to the stairs, the refrigerator, or the dishwasher and finds laughter and something magical there.
She is smart, funny, quick.
She is sweet, sensitive, and fragile.
She is strong, curious, and fierce.
She is a perfect blend of softness and steel.
My baby is 1 year old.
It really does seem like yesterday that I held her in my arms, still all dirty, sticky, and taking in all that is out here. I kissed her. I said “hi, it’s me. Mommy”. It really does seem like yesterday that my world was rocked to the core.
I had thought the impact would lessen, I had thought that second time around it might not feel as magical, as spiritual, as life altering.
But it was. And I wasn’t prepared.
She rocked my world.
Those first 3 months when she cried and cried. And slept and slept. And had such beautiful peaceful, joyful moments in between. But the tears… for bath time, to change, to sleep…
Those next 3 months that started as if by magic the DAY she turned 4 months… happy baby, no more tears, no more inexplicable tears. Just a sweet baby that enjoyed everything life offered her.
Those next 3 months that messed with that little body like nothing else… leaving a house, staying with grandparents, stopping nursing, moving to Canada, moving houses, running errands… and she took it in stride. With smiles, and laughter, and sticking to what she wanted… she made it through with sunshine.
Those last 3 months where she just was. She played, she learned, she grew, she explored, she fell, she cried, she tried again, she won, and she laughed.
Today my baby is 1 year old.
Where has time gone?
Every day I pray for help. Grace to be a better mom than I was yesterday.
Yes, this is about her, but also about him. A big brother that has showed her the ropes, and she adores him. They make me a mommy and I couldn’t ask for a better role. I am humbled by them… they are truly wonderful.
Today my girl is 1 year old.
Every single day, nap time and bed time, I lay her in her crib and say the same things…
I love you.
You are enough, and you are wonderful.
My hope is that she grows knowing that. Deep in to her soul.
I love you baby girl.
You are enough – just the way you are. May you never stop dancing, dreaming, reaching, growing, improving, and becoming who you are meant to be. But always remember you are enough.
You are wonderful – just the way you are. May you never fall in to the trap of thinking that you must change something to be great. Growth, change, improvement, learning, knowledge… all that only gets you anywhere if start well, so start by understanding that you are wonderful, and you can get better, but you’re starting off just right.
I love you baby girl.
You’re gonna do all right out there.
The world is big, and exciting, and sometimes scary.
Hold on to what you believe. Trust your instincts.
Know that you have a proud mommy,
a strong daddy and a fierce big brother on your side.
And we’d move the world for you.
You’ve got this.
Let’s do this thing.